This is a draft version of a posting I published two weeks ago, and for some reason it disappeared. I am not going to attempt to recreate it, but I think most of it is here:
I finally have a free moment to update our blog -- Calvin is sleeping! I had great intentions of being a faithful little blogger, but my new role has made it difficult to find time. In fact, I'm probably going to regret typing this lengthy update instead of napping! As of yesterday, I had 8 voicemails on my phone and the thought of returning those calls just about pushed me over the edge. Everyday I shout to the phone from across the room, "Sorry, can't answer you right now!" My days consist of feeding, eating, sleeping, burping, rocking, and diaper changing. Sometimes in a blessed moment I even get a shower! Thanks to my mother's helpers (aka: angels) that have been by to cook me dinner, hold Calvin, clean my kitchen, etc, I still feel human.
Last night I had my first late-night meltdown. I was holding a screaming Calvin, my arsenal of baby-soothing techniques completely wiped out, and all I could do was hold him and cry. What a sight we must have been, the two of us sobbing in the pitch-black living room. The meltdown was short-lived though because eventually he calmed down and we fell asleep on the couch. Poor guy probably wonders how he got stuck with me...
Some of my "favorites" over the last two weeks have been Calvin's smile and his cooing during feeding. Calvin has a GREAT smile. I know it's not really meant for me yet, but even his gas-induced grins make my heart skip a beat. It lights up his whole face!
Another one of my favorites has been Adam's dedication to me, and to the role of "Daddy." They say that when you see your husband with your child, you fall in love all over again. I second that sentiment. I love the way he can't wait to hold Calvin when he comes home on the weekends, but I also think it's because he has a new outlet for showing me his devotion. Before Calvin, I was pretty independent, and not very high-maintenance (why can I hear Adam laughing right now?). What I mean is he didn't have a lot of opportunities to "take care of me." Not that he didn't take care of me... I just... oh bother. You know what I mean. Well his moment to shine came as soon as I started pushing in the delivery room. He was an incredible coach. I have seen women on "A Baby Story" get frustrated with their husbands for not doing the right things, but Adam anticipated what I needed before I even knew to ask. He knew when to hold my hand, he knew how and when to start counting during the push, and he knew the right words of encouragement to keep me going. Amazing! I imagine it was just as hard on him to keep that up for two hours, just as much as it was for me to push that long! And when Calvin finally decided to make his appearance, he reacted exactly the way I hoped he would. My husband was a blubbering mess of a man. To see him like that, a combination of his relief for me and the joy of Calvin's arrival, was a brief glimpse into the amount of love he has for me and our new little family. Since being home, Adam has gone above and beyond to take care of me. He makes all meals, cleans the house, plays with Calvin, takes turns with him in the middle of the night, prepares everything for feeding, and much more. All without me asking! He does it all on top of the stresses and requirements of Fire Training Academy. I'm married to Superman.